Express Delivery

Express Delivery
Type	Purchaseable player business
Chapters	9
Narrator	Billy Stoakes
Tier 10 Reward	Legendary Delivery Outfit

"A local delivery service that promises to deliver anything, anywhere. With the right driver in the van, they can."

—Description

Express Delivery is a business consisting of nine chapters introduced with Update 20. The business is unlocked upon reaching player level 90, and can be purchased for 100,000 CR. It is the most recent Business to be added to the game.

Set up by Billy Stoakes who requires a business partner for the business, Joel recommends the player to him;. Throughout the story, the player drives a fleet of highly-modified vans owned by Billy, picking up goods and delivering them and sometimes even performing some strange stunts like landing a jump.

At the end of the event, Billy tells the player that he has a batch of new Express Delivery drivers coming in the next week so they can have some time off, as well as thanking them for their services and asking them to keep in touch.

Earning nine stars in the business awards the player with the GMC Vandura G-1500, earning 15 awards the player with the Ford Transit SuperSportVan, earning 21 awards the player with the Morris Mini-Traveller and all 27 awards the player with the delivery outfit.

Chapters

Man and Van

"Express Delivery! Newly open. Anything delivered. Prices reasonable. Special delivery instructions honoured!"

—Synopsis

• Car(s) used: GMC Vandura G-1500

At Billy's office, Billy explains to the player the premise of his new Express Delivery service, and that he got his friend Alfie to build a website for him because he can't do it himself; he then explains that his friend put a "special instructions" box under the "delivery address" section of the website, and now "people are writing all sorts of stuff in there". He then explain that that is the main reason why he needs a Horizon driver for the venture.

As the player gets into Billy's van, a GMC Vandura G-1500, he tells the player he's starting them off "with something simple": delivering a package from Point A to Point B. He then instructs the player to deliver a package to the outskirts of Edinburgh, which they do so. On arrival, Billy tells the player he'd contact them again as soon as he can think of the next delivery.

• 3 stars: 1 min 30 s
• 2 stars: 1 min 50 s
• 1 star: 3 min 30 s

A Box of Ducks

"Fragile packages delivered undamaged, or your money back! All payments final."

—Synopsis

• Car(s) used: GMC Vandura G-1500

At Billy's office, Billy reminds the player about the "special instructions palaver", before telling the player that they now have a delivery with special instructions on them. He reads the instructions aloud: "Keep well ventilated, handle with extreme care, and don't worry if it quacks a bit.", before saying he'd check with the company's live animal policy and tells the player to do what they do best.

As the player gets into Billy's van, he phones the customer in question about the package, before quizzically wondering how in the world they managed to get a box of ducks. As the call ends, Billy tells the player that their package is a shipment of "rare Uzbekistani ducks" making their way to an ornamental pond, but to be careful not to bump them as they get cranky easily. Without bumping the ducks, the player makes their way to the outskirts of Edinburgh, where on arrival, Billy tells the player that they have another satisfied customer, and that if they're happy, he's happy.

• 3 stars: 1 min 40 s
• 2 stars: 1 min 50 s
• 1 star: 2 min 20 s

Destination not Found

"All delivery destinations accepted. Last-minute changes welcome!"

—Synopsis

• Car(s) used: GMC Vandura G-1500

At Billy's office, Billy talks to the player about surströmming, a type of fermented fish with a putrid smell. He then talks about his Swedish friend Nils, who apparently "can't get enough of this stuff", and tells the player that it is not as much of a rush this time, but they might not want to hit anything.

As the player gets into Billy's van, he instructs the player to go to the outskirts of Edinburgh to deliver the surströmming to Nils while not bumping the van; as they drive along, Billy remarks that he attempted to search up reasons as to why people eat surströmming, but came up with no answer.

On arrival, Billy informs the player that he had good news and bad news: the bad news was that Nils had moved house and gave them the wrong address, remarking that the last time they delivered some to Nils, they delivered it instead to a Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Didcott who were "understandably perplexed about the whole affair". The good news, however, was that Nils's new house wasn't far away.

Getting back into the van, Billy tells the player that he'll leave it up to them to decide how to get to Nils's new house, whether it be cross-country or on roads because "they're the one who has to smell it". On arrival, Billy remarks that he wants to get Nils off the surströmming and have him taste some British delicacies that "everyone can enjoy".

• 3 stars: 1 min
• 2 stars: 1 min 15 s
• 1 star: 1 min 25 s

Smash on Through

"No obstacles considered! Express Delivery will not be beaten on speedy delivery!"

—Synopsis

• Car(s) used: GMC Vandura G-1500

At Billy's office, Billy remarks to the player that he wasn't expecting to see him back after delivering the surströmming but is glad he is back as the player "is an increasingly important part of his business plan". He then wonders what the next "special instructions" are and reads them aloud to the player: "Need help with delivery/demolition job.", before wondering what could possibly go wrong.

As the player drives off, Billy reads the rest of the instructions: "Local council requests help clearing roadway. Money no obstacle. Obstacles also no obstacle.", before wondering what "obstacles no obstacle" really meant. As they drive down an alleyway, their answer is revealed; they need to smash through a bunch of obstacles littered across the road. The player smashes through the obstacles and arrives at the destination, the city council's headquarters, where Billy remarks that he had been delivering council plans for garbage collection.

• 3 stars: 1 min 20 s
• 2 stars: 2 min
• 1 star: 3 min

Shaken (and Stirred)

"This week only! Special delivery service includes car tricks and amazing jumps!"

—Synopsis

• Car(s) used: GMC Vandura G-1500

At Billy's office, Billy remarks to the player that business was booming, with everyone around the UK wanting a piece of Express Delivery; he then states that there is an event at Bamburgh Castle, and that they are delivering drinks. Billy then states that the customers simply want the drinks dropped off, while Billy "added a few special instructions of his own", calling them "drinks and a show" and that he'd explain later.

As the player drives off, Billy tells the player if they arrive early, they could schmooze with some partygoers, before telling the player that "someone's gotta stay with the van". They set off towards Bamburgh Castle. As they drive along, Billy remarks that they could expand Express Delivery into "the entertainment business", and asks if the player could sing, dance or perform magic tricks. On arrival at Bamburgh Castle, Billy gets excited.

At Bamburgh Castle, Billy explains that Alfie had done "a proper number" on the van, having fitted it with new suspension. He then tells the player to show the partygoers that they can mix up their drinks using nothing but the Vandura.

On flagging the player off, the player has some 2 minutes and 30 seconds to accumulate a certain number of skill points, with Billy commenting on their progress at certain milestones. On time running out, Billy remarks that they can drop off the drinks and quietly make their exit, but that the partygoers would be talking about that for quite some time.

• 3 stars: 125,000 points
• 2 stars: 50,000 points
• 1 star: 25,000 points

Accelerometer Blues

"Special offer: Add an accelerometer to your package to ensure safe and speedy delivery!"

—Synopsis

• Car(s) used: Ford Transit SuperSportVan

At Billy's office, Billy remarks to the player that he was thinking of expansion plans, along with the concept of "you gotta spend money to make money". With that in mind, he reinvested; this results in Express Delivery getting new jackets, a new website and a new van: a Ford Transit SSV with a 5.8L V8, which came just in time because "some cheeky blighter's stuck those accelerometer things all over this next package".

The player is then instructed to drive to a house situated near the Greendale Airstrip while staying above 70 mph (113 km/h). On arrival, Billy tells the player that he might need to get himself some accelerometer stickers as "they were good fun", and jokingly said he would stick one on Alfie to see if he's skiving off at work.

• 3 stars: 1 min 15 s
• 2 stars: 1 min 30 s
• 1 star: 2 min 30 s

Long Distance

"Long distance deliveries no issue!"

—Synopsis

• Car(s) used: Ford Transit SuperSportVan

At Billy's office, Billy remarks that the company is definitely in "the big leagues", remarking that their next client wants "a very small package transported very very carefully"; he then says he doesn't even want to know what is in the package, nor is he prepared to bear the costs if the item gets damaged in transit.

The player is then instructed to drive to the Ambleside outskirts while being reminded by Billy to watch out for traffic. On the way, Billy wonders what's inside the package. On arrival, Billy tells the player to "get that thing out his van and get out of there before they sneeze and drop it or something", and that he does not want to know what is in the package.

• 3 stars: 5 min
• 2 stars: 5 min 10 s
• 1 star: 5 min 30 s

Package Relay

"Now available: Express Courier Delivery Service! Packages picked up and delivered!"

—Synopsis

• Car(s) used: Ford Transit SuperSportVan

At Billy's office, Billy remarks that the player has a courier job today; the customer being "a German bloke by the name of Hans", who "works nearby, doing insurance or something". The package in question contains files, which are to be brought down to him, and the player sets off soon after in the Ford Transit.

The player is then instructed to drive to a house near Bamburgh Castle, with Billy reading the special instructions aloud: "Dangerous driving is encouraged for experimental purposes.", before wondering what kind of insurance Hans does. On arrival at the destination, Billy calls Hans, only to find out that he investigates claims to test out whether they are dodgy and does not actually do insurance, and talks about a business arrangement they've come to; Hans is doing a survey titled "Collision Avoidance and Driver Stress Response", which Billy thinks is perfect for some "high-speed advertising". They set off once again in the Transit.

On flagging the player off, the player has some 5 minutes to reach the Festival while accumulating a certain number of near miss skills, with Billy commenting on their progress at certain milestones. When the player reaches the festival, Billy comments that the player's driving has gotten Hans what he needed, and he reckons "he's going to get a lot of excited calls about the way the Express Delivery van has been driving", before commenting that there's no such thing as bad publicity.

• 3 stars: 18 near misses
• 2 stars: 13 near misses
• 1 star: 7 near misses

That Sick Drop

"Billy's Big Idea..."

—Synopsis

• Car(s) used: Ford Transit SuperSportVan

At Billy's office, Billy remarks that the business has been booming and he's "up to his armpits in jobs", likely thanks to their driving, and that they've gotten "funny special instructions all over the place". He then reads the player an example: "Deliver unidentified package to the Lakehurst Slate Quarry. Bring a crash helmet and a five-point harness.", before the player sets off with the Transit to the middle of the Lakehurst Forest.

As they set off, Billy remarks that he had a performance modification done to the Transit "because the special instructions said so"; he begins to sound oddly suspicious when he tells the player to follow the satnav and "everything will be ready down at the quarry", before wondering why people would want a package delivered "to the middle of an empty quarry", along with wondering about the five-point harness and helmet.

On arrival at the forest, Billy's true intentions are revealed: there was no real customer, and that this was an act of thanks all orchestrated by Billy because the player had helped Express Delivery get off the ground. As they set off again to the middle of the quarry, Billy wonders if there are cameras around or if the stunt will bring in any new business; if they do, it is a "win-win situation". As the player approaches the danger sign at a high speed, they begin to fly; as the player flies, Billy loudly exclaims various remarks of surprise, and with a loud thump, the player lands in the middle of the quarry.

On landing, Billy asks the player if they were alright, before remarking that they were; Billy later remarks that they had a new batch of Express Delivery drivers starting their jobs the next week after seeing the player land that jump, and that the player could "have some time off for a bit". Remarking that it has been a pleasure working with them, Billy ends off by saying he'll be sure to keep in touch.

• 3 stars: 1000 ft (305 m)
• 2 stars: 875 ft (267 m)
• 1 star: 600 ft (183 m)